Was watching the movie, O BROTHER WHERE ARE THOU last evening and having watched it several times since its release several times, I realized there are many very subtle things going on and being said that are easy to miss; sort of like reading your Bible! The George Clooney character has seven young girls in his family but his wife has disowned him by telling the girls he was hit by a train rather than telling them he was in prison. In his rebuttal upon finally seeing "his" girls, he kept uttering the term "paterfamilias" which I had not heard before nor had even picked up being said in previous viewings. The term so intrigued me that I researched it and here is what I found:
definition of paterfamilias1 : the male head of a household 2 : the father of a family 3 : a man who originates or is a leading figure in something (as a movement, discipline, or enterprise)
As I awoke early this morning and have done my reading, that term and its meaning keep circling my LZ (landing zone) for some reason. The key terms are head, family, leads ... we live in a time when there are more fathers not in the homes than ever before in our history. I see daily the results either in a class room or in a jail chapel, yes, polar opposites, of the havoc and wreckage and failure and disappointment in the void of a real, effective, involved and integrated family unit with a paterfamilias on-station. I am convinced the escalating statistics of divorce, of living together instead of marrying are all or are heavily linked to this void.
I have always heard that girls, I have a girl in my wonderful daughter and now three more girls in my three beautiful grand daughters, that will, can and do seek a male partner using their experience with their father as the template of what they want for a life partner. If that portrait is not there or is there in a very negative role which I can understand very personally from my own childhood, then what can society expect but girls aimlessly seeking about for something they have not seen which is a loving, caring father figure in their lives and thus their value system, right?
In my lifetime and to this day I believe the greatest failing in our decaying society is the absence of the nuclear family and made even worse by the void of no effective father figure as the portrait of life gets painted on a daily basis. Men, generally, have and are failing the females in so many ways but not being there is at the top of the life and it has generational implication. The Bible is quite clear on the role of the male in a family which far surpasses a physical experience with a female and then move on to the 20-50 plus more women partners in a now more "normal" lifespan of exploits instead of establishing a foundation of love and respect and contribution and steadfastness. Is it any wonder our society is where it is and worse, we have not yet hit the bottom? The perversive mindset of Man is unending as we saw in Sodom and Gomorrah and we saw how God dealt with those citadels of sin and decay. So what is different today from those two failed, corrupt havens? Honestly, not very clear on that and that makes it scary to me.
My challenge to men that will read this .... we have a role in a family that is lasting and of immeasurable value for generations to come but we have to be there through the good times and the not so good times and there will always be plenty of both. But running away, not caring for what we are responsible for and created is beyond criminal to me. Men, be the PATERFAMILIAS for it takes guts, it takes commitment and more than anything, it takes real love. The role is a heavy contact sport that at times hurt and maybe even injure but like my mother used to say, "little eyes are watching" and those little eyes are the mothers and wives of tomorrow. They need us and we are failing generation after generation of those little eyes! That is, well, CRIMINAL! Not to mention gutless. Yes, it takes guts but it is an investment in a better world going forward.
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