Last evening I was watching an NFL Football Life piece on Bill Parcels. The piece was not too complimentary, in all honesty, but then Parcels, the man, was quite interesting as you watched his life unfold in ebbs and flows as a great football coach. He was tough, intentionally displayed anger and was prone to temper tantrums but through his journey, there was a common figure that kept him grounded and tethered to the craft he had chosen. That person that provided stability, a source of honest, sincere input and a man that Parcels could depend on through the storms of this career was his high school basketball coach. Toward the end of the program, much was made of the other Super Bowl coaches that were spawned under Parcels example and coaching technique and the number was six former coaches that went on to be Super Bowl champion coaches. Parcels, in response to the interviewer's question was that success, true success, in a man's life is measured less by what he or she did but by what "those that follow" accomplish in their lives.
As I was going to bed that three word comment resonated with me and as the infamous THE MAN IN THE MIRROR began to flow through my brain as it did with Parcels many times, I began to think about my own life and those that will follow me and the vital metric of impact on our world each of us possess by those that came along our pathway and the influence each of us had on future generations. For my own life, I have been both honored and humbled by thousands of people I have rowed the boat with in a rather diverse career in my professional career at Goodyear, university teaching, prison ministry, singing, church involvement, my family, consulting. That inventory is something as I look into my mirror that you just do not ponder often or even think about until something will happen that will trigger the inventorying of your life. I think it a worthy exercise for in that venture you begin to realize the gravity of this thing called life, mortality, future and probably as importantly, if you had things to do over, what would you do differently! Pretty deep stuff this still dark Monday morning is it not?
Many people have entered my young life that uniquely touched my life for the duration of my life thus far. Like Parcels, my high school basketball coach, Walter Holt, had profound influence on my life and I find myself often thinking of things he would say, would example, would point out for even through intense scrutiny and criticism or challenge, you always knew he was coaching a team but he was also realizing his role as a tent pole for lives of young men, many of which had not strong example in their lives at that crucial time and age in life. My list could expand geometrically of others as I have many times in other writings I have done. Jesus Christ, Lamar Berry, Joe Cowan, Glenn Avery, Zeddie Morton, my grandfather Williams, my mother, Riley Whitaker, Bill Sharp, Tim Heijermans, Jerry Butcher, COL Alton Barnes, K.B. Kleckner, Gary Roach, Mike Frazier, Walt Gawron, Ray Coblentz, Ray Hexamer, Sharon Rohrer, Neal Wheeler, Dave Sabaka, Edna Baker, Ruth Epley, Alicia Williams and the list becomes lengthy. With the unique and timely touch of these artists painting my portrait, my life and my portrait will live on long after my last breath for Parcels' was correct, the true measure of a person will be found in those that follow and in their contribution to this journey of life.
Learning, absorbing, interacting, listening, watching, driving, responding to painful experiences, working through deep disappointment, seeking to do and to be your best are all ingredients to this amazing journey called life. I have seen many successes and have experienced many failures. I have seen the sunlight and the snow. I have warmed and basked in the joy and have cried many tears internally and externally. I have loved watching victories and have hated the bitter taste of other's defeats. I have said thousands of times that for me the greatest sin of all is one choosing not to fully utilize one's capability.
Many thousands of students will attest in real time my living example of pushing them, guiding them, expecting more and more of them and watching them find the wherewith all to accomplish victory in the challenge when they never thought they could but through focus, drive and leadership met and surpassed the challenge. With each victory their lives and the lives of their web of family, colleagues and friends are changed as well. There were times I saw students just give up, quit, walk away or sulk but it was they where I focused my energy for I knew if I could say or do something that would cause them to reach more deeply into their being to come to the fight and slug it out that they would accomplish something that would change and shift the course of their lives. That, for me, was the essence of victory, not the accolades and compliments but the smell of victory and the ensuing twinkle and smiles I saw in the eyes of those that fought the battle and won.
When my mind does the inventory of those that have trod this path with me and I see or learn of their accomplishments in their own lives or read testimonials from hundreds in letters, FB messages, calls, etc, my heart is warmed in reading how their lives are better for having gotten to get to work with me. I can say that without a modicum of ego for their success is mine to enjoy; and I do immensely.
Music and singing has become at this stage of my life an avenue that brings abundant joy in investing huge amounts of time effort and energy but worth every ounce of it when you see the impact a song can have on a person's heart at a moment in time. Countless comments verify for me that it matters much less how a person sings but much, much more in the heart and the passion with which a song is presented. I love to sing but I love to see singing as a vehicle that brings joy, smiles, tears of warmth and a stream of joy in which the person can swim in the turmoil of their own lives. So who gets the blessing? That would be me!
So, to those that follow you and they that will follow them, what is your contribution to those generational spans you may or may not get to see in the first person? I think it a worthy exercise to look in that mirror and assess your actions and activities to get a sense of destiny in what you have done and will do that carves pathways in those around you that are watching, listening, seeking, your attention, your touch, your essence as they will decide to drink from your well or move on.
At sixty-seven I am fully cognizant that I have more years behind me than I do in front of me and please know, I am perfectly alright with that reality. I am immeasurably blessed by so many that have touched and crafted my life into what it is today this Monday morning but I am even more blessed far above that threshold when I reflect on the thousands of people I have touched in some way thus investing my life into theirs. My wife, my children and my amazing grand children will be benefactors of my essence investment in just living. How powerful is that to ponder!
I implore you this day to stand in front of that mirror all alone quietly and unhurriedly and do a deep personal assessment of the real person you see standing there and begin a mental inventory of those that are most responsible for that person you see but also begin to peel back the layers of those you yourself have touched in a very special and unique way. See, that is the real you isn't it?
Google THE MAN IN THE MIRROR; it is worth it!
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